| we looked at a place yesterday that looked really promising. i could totally picture it: us standing there facing each other by the river and the flowers with our friends and family watching...
i can finally start to see it happening...
bye and stuff.
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| seriously, i logged on today for the first time in like a year and i don't even recognize xanga anymore. it took me forever to figure out how to make a damn post...
the sad thing is in the past year of not posting i haven't really had anything to post about. i work all the time. ALL THE TIME. and it seems like i still don't have enough money. my bills come in and i pay them, that's it. i live month to month, making just enough money to pay my bills, saving nothing. as soon as i start to get ahead of the game a little bit, start building some $$$ in the old bank acount, something happens to my car... or taxes are due... or something like that. i feel like i haven't accomplished anything in the past year, just running around in circles.
i work so much that when i'm not working, i don't know what to do. i sit at home and watch tv, or i sleep all day, or i drink myself to oblivion. don't get me wrong i enjoy it! but then the next day comes and it all starts again. none of these things are good for me i know.
my mom always tells me she's proud of me and i don't know why. i'm an overweight college dropout who drinks too much. whoopeee.
the only time i feel like my life means something is when i'm with Carolyn. she's everything to me. she's my biggest and only inspiration. any strive i make to further myself is stemmed from her. she's brings so much happiness into my life i cannot even attempt to write about it here. the words would go on forever.
when i go to church i feel like a total stranger. i've known these people for years and yet i feel like they don't know me at all. hell i don't think i know myself at all anymore.
geez this is the most depressing post ever. i'm gonna go open a window or something.
bye and stuff.
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| boy does the IRS ever suck....
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the apartment building about 40 yards away from mine is on fire...
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